Thinking of sexing it up with your partner in the shower? Whether you are a first-timer or a seasoned pro, use this guide to get the ball rolling or freshen up your game.

#1. Set the mood

Not everyone is entirely comfortable showering with their partner, so make sure to set the right mood. Maybe your partner is body conscious or prefers to keep their general bathroom routine entirely private. And, even if you are shower sex pros, you still need to set the scene.ㅤㅤ

First off, cleaning and decluttering! Nothing is less sexy (to most) than mold and mildew, soap scum, stray hair, or hairballs! Do a deep clean if need be; this is now your sexy place, and you want it to shine! This, too, is a great time to declutter. Throw out those empties, or reduce the notions and potions to the most essential for post-play clean-up. Remember, you may get wild in there, and bottles flying could kill the mood or alert the family.

Now clean, think of the music you both enjoy, dimmer lighting, candles, fresh towels, and scents. This is something to share and enjoy together, not just to wash away the day, so think of things you both enjoy and that give you comfort.

#2. Gear up

Your shower is hopefully already stocked with your favorite shampoo, conditioner, and body wash, but for this shower, you may need a few more goodies for your basket…and your partners!

  • Starting at the bottom, anti-slip protection! We are looking for fun, not a trip to the ER. If you have slippery flooring in the shower, lay down a layer of protection. 
  • Protection, condoms, etc., can be awkward if not handy in any situation, but a total buzz kill if you have to hop out of the shower, towel off, and pop down the hall to the bedroom!
  • Lube. Yes, even in the shower! There are many options to choose from, though water-based tends to wash away super easy. The best bet: check your toys label and go from there.
  • Oh yes, TOYS. Dildos, plugs, waterproof vibrators, and yes, even your favorite rubber duckie… just keep the selection tight!

#3. Let the intimacy begin

To start, note that some find it easier to get things going outside the shower and move to the water after you are already aroused. Others find the act of getting each other wet or cleaning each other to be part of the eroticism. Either way, make sure to remember to wash away all the soap before you get too excited.

Start off with warm water; too cold, no fun at all, too hot, and depending on how active you are, you could overheat…and as mentioned before, this will be slippery enough. Shower sex is all about intimacy. The shower is a great place to enjoy each other's bodies and explore. Warm water eases tension and relaxes the body, opening you up to receiving a deeper connection to your partner…emotionally and/or physically.

#4. Use the water

Have a handheld shower wand? Use the wand and water as a sex toy! You can use the wand to direct water on your partner in place of where you might usually touch them with your hands. Perhaps use your free hand to caress and tease your partner’s body in the direction the water flows or by touching and probing one part of their body with one hand or your mouth while the water manipulates another. And don’t forget to change the settings on the shower head, varying the spray intensity and type as you experiment and explore all your erogenous zones. Play around, and learn what excites you and your partner. And unlike masturbating with a showerhead where you have only two hands, perhaps show your partner how you enjoy using it while they use their hands, mouth, and genitals to touch, lick, and penetrate you!

#5. Play around

Most of us remember playing in the shower as kids, so why do we stop as adults? This is your time to play in the water! And your time to experiment and enjoy.

October 22, 2022 — Carla Gilbert